is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize