dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
