Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
