she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
