i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
