But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
