I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize