jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
There's always time for handjobs
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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