U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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