sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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