I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
