So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
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