I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
