i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
