this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
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