She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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