btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I checked into jail on foursquare
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
