i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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