ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I want to make a zoo with you.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
