how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
