thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I don't deserve a penis
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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