it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
