so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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