fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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