Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I know her cup size but not her name....
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
