Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
