We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
