If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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