boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
