Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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