whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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