he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
