Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
