At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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