I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
