Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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