were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
