hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
