Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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