He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
