PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
