It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
