"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
