puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
