shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize