OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Vodka?
Forever.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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