Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
