i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize