I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
