He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He called his prostate his "boner button".
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
MIDGETS
????
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
