"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
