he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
