come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
