Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize