just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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