I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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