Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
