Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
