Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
