I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Drunk is a universal language darling
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize