Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
