he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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