Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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