before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
