It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Sorry about my life...
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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