he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
